The biggest lesson I learned from 4 years of being a mum
Updated: Feb 28
My daughter turned 4 in July. This means I turned 4 as a mum and I feel like I’ve come a long way but at the same time, I can’t believe how quickly it happened! I still remember the day when she was born like yesterday. She is now a walking, talking little person who likes to choose what to wear, what to eat and what to do. She can tell me if something is wrong (tummy or elsewhere hurting) and she’s very good at expressing her feelings. No more guessing game! She’s a creative, expressive beautiful little soul. A big bundle of energy for sure!
Becoming mother has allowed me to see who I was and who I wanted to be. It allowed me to see what’s really important in my life and helped me redefine how I wanted to live my life. It has taught me the power of patience and acceptance. It is an incredibly rewarding experience and a life-changing journey.
I love being a mum and I cannot believe how easy my life is right now. I truly feel grateful to have this opportunity to become someone’s mum, but it wasn’t like this in the beginning. It was extremely challenging. I mean it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life. It was far from smooth sailing! I went through all sorts of emotions & feelings - overwhelm, worry, boredom, loneliness, disconnection, frustration, impatience, happiness, joy...(Sometimes all in one day!) Being a mum is like being on an emotional roller coaster especially the first couple of years. Sleep deprivation, toilet training, tantrums and meltdowns. New phase, new challenge.
When my daughter was born, I had no idea what I was doing. I was the first-time mum with hardly any experience with babies. I had no niece or nephew. I didn’t have many friends with babies either and had zero experience changing nappies. I felt like I was the most unprepared parent. I mean who can be fully prepared to be a parent anyway?
So, I had to figure out a lot of things along the way. As I look back on this 4-year journey, the most importance thing I learned was to take better care of myself - to nurture myself as the mother. To my daughter, I was everything. I was the most important person in her world. I wanted to show up as the best version of myself – as a calm, centred, patient and present mother. I must admit I struggle to be the mother I wanted to be especially in the first 6 months. I was sleep deprived and completely overwhelmed and this affected my mood and energy. Energy is everything though. Babies are highly sensitive and can feel our energy.
I thought I just needed some time away to catch up on my sleep after not sleeping properly for 5 straight months and clear my head. So, I went on a solo weekend away in the Blue Mountains NSW to have the most healing experience I had in a long time. But I soon realised that the weekend away wasn’t the real answer. I found myself feeling deprived again within a week of returning from my holiday. What I really needed was consistent self-care practice to make time and space for myself to give my full undivided attention to myself on a daily basis. Making commitment to make time for myself was a huge turning point. I stopped saying “I have no time” to myself and started asking more empowering question like “How can I make more time for me?” and from there, it was a slow, gradual process of feeling like myself again.
Are you ready to transform your life? The greatest gift you can give to yourself is your time & attention. When you create space for yourself and take time to nurture & nourish you, you create space inside you to allow more love and patience to grow. When you’re calm & centred inside, your energy has the ripple effect on other people around you, including your child. When you lose your centre (and don’t have the capacity to come back to your centre) you’re more likely to see your child’s behaviour (crying, tantrum etc) escalating. So, it all starts with YOU. And that’s why it’s so crucial for you to start focus more on yourself.
Being mum is physically, mentally and emotionally challenging. The practice of mindfulness allows you to see that you’re not your thoughts. You’re not your feelings. We often get so caught up in our head, but the practice of yoga helps us tap into our body and allows us to feel more. This is one of the keys to wellbeing - leaving your headspace and arriving into your body. I’m truly grateful for having the knowledge of the ancient wisdom practice like yoga & mindfulness. I have no idea how I would have navigated through this challenging journey without these tools. I’m no parenting expert and don’t pretend to be. Just another mum who might be a few steps ahead of where you are.
What I do know is the impact of short, simple, consistent practice on your wellbeing. I’ve been practising yoga & mindfulness for the last 12 years and teaching for the last 6, so I do know a thing or two about how we can use these simple tools for our physical, emotional and mental health.
Do you want to be a calm & relaxed mum who is less reactive to your child’s behaviour and more responsive to his or her needs? Do you wanna live your life more fully and mindfully and find more joy in motherhood? Do you wanna be a happier & healthier version of you? If your answer is YES, I invite you to join me inside my online membership space, called Mindful Mama Membership. The enrolment is open for a very limited time - until 10pm Monday 1st March 2021 AEST.
Mindful Mama Membership
Helping you create sustainable self-care through yoga, Ayurveda & mindfulness
Enrolment closing at 10pm Monday 1st March 2021 AEST
Chika is the founder of Wa Yoga (Wa is a Japanese word meaning harmony). She is a Yoga Australia registered teacher, student of yoga for 12 years, teaching yoga & mindfulness for the last 6 years and mum to a 4-year old daughter. She specialises in offering online courses and memberships for mothers of young children and young families. She has a gentle approach to teaching yoga and her classes are always infused with mindfulness, reminding people to slow down and come back to the present moment. Her mission is to inspire and motivate other mums to start incorporating yoga, Ayurveda & mindfulness into their daily self-care ritual.